The Eighteen Days of Christmas

2015-12-01 13.06.10

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me – CATS!!


Cats. People either love them or dislike them (I was going to say hate, but that’s a pretty strong word). They are loving. They are aloof. They can be absolute assholes. But when a kitty decides to get all snuggly with you, there is nothing better.

Asher’s mom is well on her way to becoming the resident crazy cat lady of Candy Canes & Coffee Beans. She has threesome of feline troublemakers who very much want to be a part of a very special family dinner. There is Thomas, the red tabby who will trip and kill you for any speck of food he thinks he can get once gravity takes over. Daisy is a Siamese with a double kinked tail who tends to meow whenever the doorbell rings. And then there is Sam, the tuxedo cat who feels he is invited to all meals and will make himself a seat on the dining room table.

Each cat in this story is modeled after a real-life cat that either I as an adult or my family owned. I mixed the names around a little bit, but each cat and their characteristics are true to life. My mother was the original crazy cat lady, but she started very early in her cat career. For a large part of my childhood we would have no less than eight cats. We hit our maximum when I was around twelve when we had eleven cats, five large dogs, three parrots (like actual parrots, not budgies or canaries), two rabbits, and a few cages full of hamsters. My mom liked to diversify her animal hoarding. She never got her sheep though.


The stories I have about growing up in a domestic zoo could be a book in of itself (hmm…plot bunny just hopped up on my desk). I really need to start writing them all down. I am my mother’s daughter, as we have four cats since my hubby and I got married. Actually our first was purchased out of wedlock. One of the many things I inherited from my mom was the ability to pick really amazing, albeit quirky, cats. At the moment, we have two cats, along with a very long suffering dog.


Zoe, our youngest, is the worst trouble maker of the bunch. She’s the one pictured in the Christmas trees. Her favourite places are up and in. If you look in my photos on the Book of Face, you’ll find my “up and in” pictures that I posted of her. She’s also the princess who will present herself to be petted. It’s like having to make an appointment to pet the cat. One of her greatest pleasures is terrorizing our dog, who is a miniature schnauzer. I feel sorry for him but it’s so hilarious. He wants to be besties with her, but she goes all alpha on his furry little rump.


Willie is the minion’s dog-cat. He has the loyalty of a dog, but the body of a cat. He is the king of the house, and we like to say he rules the house with a mighty yet fluffy paw. Spencer, the dog, is absolutely terrified of him, and even the princess ends up bowing to his wishes. He is known by many names: Dinner cat, for his ability to appear the moment I start cooking dinner and waits on the breakfast bar so he can sniff dad’s dinner as he’s eating (yes our cats have free reign in the house…it was a losing battle I gave up long ago); the minion calls him fluffy bunny as this cat has the softest fur I have ever felt on a cat…and in my lifetime I’ve had upwards of forty cats (told you my mom was crazy);and his latest name is little spoon, as he will assume the little spoon position in bed, and once he does, he sucks the consciousness right out of you. We’ve lost hours in that little embrace. Willie is also the wire destroyer, chewing threw headphone and earbud wires, and most recently, our pre-lit tree. I was cursing his name the entire time I was removing the lights from the un-lit tree. Oh, he also chewed the charging cord for the minion’s shaver. But I suspect that there had been some kind of deal crafted so the minion could keep his fifteen year old ‘stache. It was replaced quickly.

I have a feeling that no matter what I write, there will always be a reincarnation of a cat reliving some insane situation that actually happened at some point in my life.

Until tomorrow everyone!


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